possibilities

One of the only things

Sun, 19 May 2013 22:35:47 -0400

Im bad at is calling people out. Im really good with talking about someone behind their backs but to confront someone is really hard for me. I only call peiple out personally if theyre a very, very close friend or if I literally dont give a ball of what they think of me. This is one of the only things in bad at

This semester.

Thu, 16 May 2013 21:40:06 -0400

Man oh man…. until last week I was failing 3 classes. I also had a C. And one A and one B.
By next thursday ill have 2As and 4bs. Ill take that because I honestly slacked the whole year and I’m undeserving of good grades.
Human exam tmw. Just gonna wing it amd hope for dat 5 hahahahahahhaha

a long pointless post

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 22:59:21 -0400

as i take things in and live everyday like a machine, i feel lost. for sure many things are going on…but…i just don’t worry about them anymore. i guess im happy, because i have no worries, no discipline. im only happy because i allowed myself to let go of everything that gives me stress. ie school and “friends”. i guess i like to be independent with my problems…because i can tell myself lies to make myself feel better. i know that if i keep doing what im doing im just going to end up to become a bum and a failure. my passion for drums is slowly fading. i hate the idea of not having a band. a band strives to become better and better as musicians, but i have no one that motivates me to become better. its merely a hobby that i enjoy doing from time to time. for some reason i feel like crap writing this tumblr post, because for a while i never really looked into my heart. my heart is so dirty.

idk how i have friends. idk how people can take someone like me as their peer and have me around them. honestly im fake to almost all my friends. i want to be accepted. i want them to like me, but why……. i dont need them.. im basically using them for my own entertainment. there are some people that i jsut want to talk to every second of everyday, and there are some people that i can only talk to once or twice a week. and it always seems like my closer friends are the ones i talk to the least. i feel like my closer friends are leaving my life.

my heart’s going crazy. i judge so easily. how can you say one thing and do exactly the opposite? how can you make the same mistake more than twice? why is the lesson never learned? why are you so dumb?

why is it that the people i want are outside of my reach? i feel like i want them more because they are outside of my reach. i have to try so hard to have them in my life that they become more special or more important than my friends here. how come i care so much for people that i might see once or twice a year? how can i love someone that i can only see in occasions? i really do miss joon. i really, really miss joon.

i hate……how people judge me. i hate how they tell me that im doing something wrong. i hate people that put me down. i want to fight them all.

i just want someone that would listen. someone that would listen and just say “i understand”
i dont need your bullcrap response of “i know what you mean. all you gotta do is ___________” “oh i know exactly what youre going through.” no, youre not gonna tell me what to do nor are you gonna tell me that you know exactly what im going through.
i hate people who dont apologize. is sorry that hard to say? “sorry that was my fault” why is that so hard to say?
i hate it when people assume crap from me. especially people who barely know me.

i guess ihavent vented in a while.

i have so much hatred in my heart. i am so lazy. i am so tired.

what's really been on my mind lately.

Sun, 31 Mar 2013 09:59:31 -0400

a couple days back my mom and I were talking about college. I told her my plan and stuff. and as I was telling her this “plan” she interrupted me and asked if I minded going to a college in New York. and I was just like….wtf and said “if I get in I guess”. then she told me when I graduate there is a good chance shes going to move to New York. I was caught so off guard because when I asked about the family she told me it’d only be me and her. she said this might not happen but she’s really thinking about it and I should too. but I’m scared what would happen to the family after my mom and I move out. what is a family if we’re not together? what is a marriage if the two of them don’t live together? sighhh

danbilions: iraffiruse: Frozach Submitted ok gonna go cry...

Mon, 25 Mar 2013 21:27:43 -0400

danbilions:

iraffiruse:

Frozach Submitted

ok gonna go cry now

tonight

Sun, 24 Mar 2013 22:01:07 -0400

was such a rollercoaster. speaking of rollercoasters im gonna be riding some in spring break.

anyways. i can’t express in words of the sorrow and disappointment i felt tonight. i really never felt anything like it, because i really didnt expect to see what i saw. i felt my heart literally breaking and it really didnt feel good.
that was the first time where my heart felt numb. my whole body didn’t really function too well and it was risky driving. i literally went like 30mph all the way home. i felt like throwing up and i felt as if the whole world literally fell on my face.

there was a secret that was kept from me. i really hate the fact that im still treated as a baby. actually i dont mind my mom kissing me and my dad looking over everything i do, but i hate the fact that im never in tune with my family. all i know about my family are the good things, because all the bad things are kept away from me. they think i cant understand because im young, but really im not that young anymore. i deserve to know certain things and having to find out instead of being told sucks.

as soon as i found out i was freaking out and i couldnt really think straight and all i could do was break, but when i came home and i watched my family be happy, i was happy. i was so happy that we are a family and that we will always love each other no matter what. im so blessed to have a family, a home, food, water, etc. im so glad that my parents are who they are and im so glad that i am a part of the family.

i love my parents. my dad is so sensitive and its kinda cute. i think i might be less sensitive than my dad, because literally EVERYTHING affects him. haha. and my mom……..shes kinda the best.

im still scared though.

its hannah kim

Sun, 24 Mar 2013 19:01:54 -0400

its hannah kim

scared

Thu, 21 Mar 2013 00:21:18 -0400

why am I so scared to live out my faith? I want to be shameless, but then again, how will I give up all of the world? to follow Him I need to give up so many things…..but Jesus gave up his life for me. why can’t I sacrifice things I love to live out the life that was meant for me from God? selfishness and pride kill me. I tell God I need directions. but the thing is I know where my first step is, I’m just too afraid to take it. what if I’m not ready yet?
I’m so tired. but I have a human test tomorrow that I kiiiiinda need an A on. but whateves gnight

Photo

Tue, 19 Mar 2013 21:58:15 -0400

did-you-kno: Source hahahahahha peter

Thu, 14 Mar 2013 16:53:52 -0400

did-you-kno:

Source

hahahahahha peter

I guess

Thu, 07 Mar 2013 23:51:00 -0500

the best thing anyone could have is originality. just original in their own ways, where no one is the same as them.
whether dumb or smart, rich or poor, black or white…
a person should be original and live in their original ways without conforming to society. but everyone’s too afraid to do that because of judgement, me included.

is it bad that

Sun, 03 Mar 2013 22:39:53 -0500

i only care for things that are absolutely necessary to care for? i know it’s bad that I only care of what just happened just because it’s my dad. literally of anybody else said the same exact thing, I literally wouldn’t give one, two, or three freaks about it. and is it bad that I want to leave this house because I hate having to care to do things I don’t want to do? I mean I know what I’m doing and stuff and indont wanna have to worry about shinanagans. but obviously that’s very selfish. I just hate being in this situation.

oh gosssssh

Fri, 01 Mar 2013 16:25:37 -0500

oh gosssssh

did-you-kno: Source yes.

Thu, 28 Feb 2013 22:17:17 -0500

did-you-kno:

Source

yes.

FIRST JOB

Thu, 28 Feb 2013 00:30:29 -0500

LIFETIME SUMMER CAMP COUNSELOR WOOHOOOO

did-you-kno: Source

Thu, 28 Feb 2013 00:27:42 -0500

did-you-kno:

Source

plan for the summer.

Mon, 25 Feb 2013 20:33:24 -0500

priorities: Costa rica missions……..AND THATS ABOUT IT

jobs: lifetime daycare/babysit/takingcareofkids and bookmeiser.

and the cool thing about lifetime daycare/babysit/takingcareofkids is that…though you get paid minimum wage, you get a free membership!! i cant wait to make money and have 100 dollars or more to spend a week. omg

sucks

Wed, 20 Feb 2013 21:46:21 -0500

THIS SUCKS I CAN’T WAIT TIL FRIDAY

dreams and reality

Mon, 18 Feb 2013 03:18:30 -0500

to this day I confuse reality with dreams, or dreams with reality. it really sucks when I have an awesome dream and I think it’s the reality. but when I have bad dreams, I’m so glad that it was only a dream. my dreams have been all over the place. but with all
the hectic things going on in my dreams, I still love it because everything I want.

I wish I can lucid dream again.

recently

Tue, 12 Feb 2013 22:04:21 -0500

i’ve been realllll happy. haha. i think quitting league is helping me a lot. though i still think about it everyday and get tempted to play, the fact that im fighting my urges and my selfishness helps me to become a better person. i’ve had so much work the last couple of weeks and honestly it sucks so much. but at the same time i havent had this intimate relationship with God is so long that eveyrthing seems to be fine.

i kinda really wanna go to state. live in the cities.

fml sats march.